The world was once flat…

The world was once flat…

Within infinity we find
the limitlessness of time.
My angel breathes my life
through another day in the time of man,
of which the trees,
still barren from winter,
encapsulate the moon, stars, and sun.
And so we search for God;
the sunset and sunrise offer no answers to the soul
while the iniquities of our souls
hold us hostage to our beliefs,
and the road takes us no where,
but where we need to go.

EjG
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This past lent I decided to take the Lenten tenets of the Catholic Church (“the Church”) to the fullest extent, and then some. I gave up all hard drink, no meat on Fridays, fasted on the high holy days, read the Bible cover-to-cover, and attended the Triduum (Mass on Holy Thursday, Good Friday, Easter Vigil and Easter Sunday; the three holy days when examined from a time period that looks at sun up to sun down).

It was a spiritual experience in search of meaning of the soul, not the Church, and an examination of the crossroad between the divine and the secular. And, most of all, I am glad I did what I did for this was about personal spiritual understanding and cleansing.

I am not in good standing with the Church because of my divorce. It cannot be more blatant and simple than that. So, let this color and jade my opinion.

Though the only acceptable reason for divorce listed in the Bible is for infidelity, it does not matter to the Church that she left after dating other men while married to me. In the Church’s eyes I still need atonement through annulment for this sin (a concept I vehemently disagree, and one they will charge for the privilege of conducting).

My two youngest children have not been baptized due to my situation (divorce, atheistic/agnostic spouse, re-married outside of the church). As it is stated, children suffer for the sins of their fathers. It matters not to the Church my quest for spiritual understanding and redemption; along with my attendance and observances. I’m a black sheep due to my ex-wife’s infidelity. It’s that simple.

However, my personal beliefs stem outside of the mainstream beliefs of the Catholic religion, obviously, and outside of Christianity, in many aspects. I look at Muslim, Judaism, and Christianity as intersections of religious philosophy, not as separate gods, demons, or canons.

Though I have not made the connection, there is probably connections with Eastern religions, as well. The Gnostic Gospels may fall into this realm, but will discuss later when I have read them. Initial text my eyes have viewed suggest they will follow this premise.

Why my beliefs? Though classic theology may poke holes into my ramblings, here is what I think based on my readings of the Bible, selected philosophical texts, limited review of the Koran, initial readings on the Gospels of Judas and Thomas, and various texts on religious interpretation (from the apocalypse to man’s religion and beliefs).

There is one deity, whatever you call the one deity (God, Lord, Yahweh, Allah, etc.), there is only one. Just like how we call Santa Claus by the names of St. Nick and Father Christmas. Same entity, different name. For the purpose of this essay, I’ll refer to deity as God, not as a superior reference to other deity names, but as a source of familiarity.

The religious texts, whether it is the Bible, Koran, Torah, or other texts, is written by man as an interpretation of divine experience. Man has an agenda, or at least a limited understanding and remembrance of experiences. So, to negate one’s beliefs over another to justify existence and superiority is an exercise in ignorance. Especially as similarities are found; though differences abound. The Crusades are no more justified than are the Middle East struggles today.

We cannot fully know and understand the vastness of God, nor can one person understand the vastness of science. Looking solely at the Bible, there are contradictions and interpretations; which become even more vast when comparisons are made between the Old and New Testaments. There is hope, despair, hate, and love within the text.

How can any one of us pretend to hold the ultimate knowledge of God, heaven, and infinity? Examining the field of science, scientists reference other’s research work that form the foundation of their own theories; as do philosophers. If this is the case, then why can’t religious leaders do the same?

Furthermore, the existence of the Bible, as we know it today, has gone through translations and iterations of Rulers and Kings (I’m willing to bet the Koran has, as well). To not continue the study based on one interpretation or religion (Judaism, Muslim, or Christianity) is like accepting that when a tree that falls in the wood with no one around it does not make a sound. Examine and study the alternative beliefs.

My father and I debated, quite briefly, my reading the Bible in 46 days (40 days of Lent; plus the six Sundays within the Lenten timeframe that do not count as Lent in the Church), whereas he is reading about two pages per day; and my look at the Gospel of Judas and the Gospel of Thomas (not to mention that I read The Da Vinci Code and wonder what a search on the “true” aspects of the story will reveal later). He is concerned at my haste with Biblical reading and my focus beyond the accepted text of the mainstream Church.

He is also troubled that two of my children are not baptized, and my questioning of the Church and religion. Questioning, not disbelief; there is a strong distinction. He is uncomfortable and unsupportive of my endeavors and quests.

I’m at a crossroad. I want my other two children baptized, but face being further ostracized through imminent, upcoming discussions of belief with the priest. But, I also want support, and to support, a religion with similar ideologies. I have thought of leaving to Lutheran or Methodist (a real and viable potential). Not to alleviate perceived and real transgressions, but to find a support of beliefs.

The more I read, the more I question. Knowledge is both good and dangerous; but it is a systemic element of change and revolution.

As I continue to study I may change my views above. But then again, we see what want to see, don’t we? I’m a man, most likely with an agenda (though I strive for impartiality), and I question the mainstream.

We have to question and debate the authoritative view. After all, the world once was flat.

EjG